


That's Good

by A_McQuin



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fanfiction, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4259922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_McQuin/pseuds/A_McQuin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I do not own Mass Effect or its characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Good

**Author's Note:**

> My first Fan Fic, so bear with me as it changes and evolves.

That’s Good Part 1/?

She’d been avoiding this for a long time. It was time. She knew it was, but it didn’t make it any better. Thane was gone. Across the sea. She stood in front of the memorial wall, the names staring back at her made her heart ache even more, knowing his was the next to go up. Under the names of some of the crew lost at the Collector base, Ashley Williams, Mordin… _I can’t do it, Thane. I can’t-_ She felt hot tears run down her cheeks and quickly wiped them away. Commander Shepard did not cry. _I miss you. Dammit, Krios…I miss you so much.  
_ Taking a deep breath, she lifted the metal plate with his name engraved across it and slid it into place. She didn’t know how long she stood there. Probably not as long as she thought, but damn, it felt like an eternity. _Thane, it’s not fair. It’s not fair, and I don’t know what to do. I love you._ She wiped away more tears.

~ 

Garrus usually didn’t pace, but the battery felt too small tonight. “I spend too much time in here.” He mused to himself, and decided to take a lap around the ship. He didn’t get very far. _Oh, God…_   
Shepard hadn’t been well at all since Thane died. She mindlessly walked her rounds, muttering to herself, still wearing his leather jacket. The hole in the back of it, from being stabbed by the assassin Kai Leng, still made his stomach turn when he saw it. The bloodstain had worn away, but the scar still remained. There she was, putting his name on the wall, wearing his jacket, muttering to herself. _…she’s crying._ Quietly, he walked to her side and gently put his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t pull away. _That’s good_. Instead, she crumbled to the floor weeping. _Shit, that’s bad_.   
He crouched down next to her, “Shepard.” She didn’t answer. She couldn’t. He tried again, “Shepard.”   
This time she answered. Not with words, just a sad face and red eyes. He helped her up, “C’mon. Let’s get you back to your cabin.”

~

**Shortly after the coup attempt on the Citadel**

While Shepard talked to Bailey, Garrus slipped away to Huerta Memorial to find Thane. Outside the last room on the right stood a drell he didn’t notice right away. When the drell turned around, Garrus realized it was Thane’s son, Kolyat.   
Garrus walked toward him and, when he reached him, shook his hand. “Kolyat. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Garrus Vakarian, we met shortly after the Collector base was destroyed.”   
“Yes. I remember.” After a brief pause he continued, “I haven’t been in to see him yet.” He held up his left arm, it was bandaged in the crook of his elbow, “They uh, they took some blood. I guess there’s not a lot of drell blood on the Citadel.” He looked at his feet for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, “thank you for coming.”   
“Of course. I respect your father. He’s…he’s a good friend,” Garrus searched for more words to comfort Kolyat, finding none he put his hand on the younger man’s shoulder in an attempt to give him some kind of comfort. Kolyat nodded his thanks, and the two men stood quietly until the doctor exited the operating room saying they were free to go in and see Thane.   
Kolyat went to his father’s side. They spoke in hushed tones, and Kolyat removed Thane’s oxygen mask. Garrus moved opposite of Kolyat, pulling up a chair. Thane turned to Garrus, a somber look on his face. Garrus was no doctor, but he didn’t need to be one to know it wouldn’t be long.   
“Garrus,” Thane rasped. He coughed a few times before speaking again, “is Shepard okay? Where is she?”   
“She’s finishing up with Bailey. I’m sure she’s on her way now.” Garrus laid his hand on Thane’s bicep, “You did good, Krios.” Garrus got up to head out when Thane suddenly grabbed his wrist, “what’s wrong?”   
“Garrus. I need you to promise me something.” He coughed a few times as Garrus sat back down, “I know this…this will not be easy for her, and I know how much you care for her. Please Take-,” He was interrupted by another coughing fit.   
“Don’t worry, Thane. I’ll take care of her.”   
Thane let go of Garrus’ wrist, sighed, and lay back on the bed. “Thank you, my friend.” He closed his eyes as Garrus stood up and left, but not before stopping to give Kolyat a small slap on the shoulder. Once again, Kolyat nodded his thanks and returned to his father’s side.

~

**Present Day**

She looked like a zombie walking into her cabin. Wearing a ripped jacket, shuffling her feet, and muttering to herself. Garrus could never quite make it out, but every once and a while he caught Thane’s name. His heart broke for her. He wanted nothing more than to just hold her. Just to let her know she wasn’t alone. That he was there. That he… Loved her. He scowled at his inner voice.   
“Shepard,” he called her name as he walked in far enough for the door to close. She didn’t say anything as she sat on the bed. It took him a minute to realize she had stopped muttering, so he tried again, “Shepard. Are you okay?” _Really, Vakarian? You know the answer to that_. “Sorry, that was a stupid question.”   
“It’s okay, Garrus,” her voice was soft.   
She pulled the jacket tighter around her body. It wasn’t until then that he realized how frail she had become. Her sweatpants hung low on her hips, her t-shirt looked way too big, she even looked like she was swimming in her socks. She sighed, “I just miss him so much.” He voice broke on the last word. He walked down the few stairs and sat next to her on the bed.   
He put his arm around her and she leaned into him, “I know you do. I have no idea what you’re going through, or how I can even begin to help, but I’ll try.”   
_Take care of her, Garrus_.   
_Don’t worry, Thane. I will._   
“Garrus,” she said drawing her legs up and wrapping her arms around them, “what do I do? I just want to feel better, how do I do that?”   
“Shepard…I don’t have those answers. I wish I did. I would do anything to see you smile again. To hear you laugh.” He sighed, “anything. You are the most important person, in the entire galaxy, to me. There isn’t anyone I respect,” _love_ , “more than you. There isn’t anyone else I care about,” _love_ , “more than you.” He put his free hand on the side of her face and looked in her eyes, “I don’t know what you need or want right now, but I’ll be here for you.” _I promised Thane I would take care of you. Hell, I promised myself._ “If you need me, you know where I am.”   
The slightest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, “in the battery calibrating something.” He didn’t say anything. He was too busy savoring the smile, however small it was, on her face. And it didn’t disappear. _That’s good_. He smiled down at her. Her smile got a little bigger. _That’s good_. She pulled away slightly, “Garrus, I-,” she stopped, “thank you.”   
“Anything for you, Shepard.” He gave her a small squeeze, stood up, and made his way to the door. Just before he was about to hit the switch and leave he heard a small cry come from the bed. He turned around and saw Shepard still on the bed, but now she was laying down, Thane’s jacket draped over her like a blanket, crying. _That’s bad_ , “Shepard?” He made his way back down to her bed. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering how comfortable that bed was. It looked long enough he could actually stretch out his legs, wide enough for him to sprawl out…or lay next to her… _Dammit, Garrus, that shouldn’t even be a thought in your head right now!_ _Look at her._ And he really did look at her. Even with hair falling over her face, he could see how thin her face had gotten, her hair didn’t have the same shine, and when she looked up at him he noticed her eyes didn’t have the same sparkle. The once bright blue of her eyes, similar to his, was now a dull gray. Despite all this, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.   
“Shepard…” He honestly did not know what to do in this situation. His skills included calibrating guns, staring down the scope of his Viper, and well…he figured that was about it, “do you want to- I don’t know- talk about it? I mean- I don’t know how much it will help, but- I just…I hate seeing you like this, Shepard. When is the last time you got a full night’s sleep? Or ate?”   
She was quiet, but as she wiped her eyes she sat up next to him. “I don’t know.” She sighed, “If I had to guess? Probably since…since…”   
Her voice broke, and in fear of her crying again he wrapped both his arms around her, embracing her, “Hey. Hey, it’s okay. If you’re not ready, don’t push yourself.” As he held her, he realized how small she was. He’d never really held a human woman like this. Not that turian women were huge…this was just different for him. His nose twitched as the smell of her coconut shampoo settled on his senses in a very pleasing way. He pulled away to push her hair behind her ear, so he could see her face. She must have thought to do the same because their hands bumped each other. Her small human hand on top of his larger turian hand. It was only a brief moment, but it felt like time froze, and it was just them in the universe. No reapers. No corrupted council. No politicians. Nothing. Just this human and him. Her and him. A flash of pink made it’s way across her face, and she pulled her hand away. Garrus pushed her hair behind her ears. His hand lingered on her face, and she leaned into his touch slightly.   
He ran his thumb across her cheekbone before clearing his throat, pulling them both from the moment. “I should, uh, I should go.” He cleared his throat one more time, “goodnight, Shepard.” He gave her a small kiss on the cheek, stood and walked to the door. Once there, he turned to give her one last wave and saw her touching the spot on her cheek he had kissed, smiling. He didn’t say anything more, just turned around and quietly left the cabin.

~

Shepard was still in a state of shock. Garrus kissed her cheek. Her skin still burned from the touch. _What the hell? Did that really just happen?_ It couldn’t have meant anything, surely. It was Garrus. And her. They had been friends forever. He was just trying to make her feel better. That’s all.

_Siha…_

“Thane?”

_Please, Siha. Do not dwell on my passing. I only wish for you to be happy. I have made it across the sea. I will wait for you, but until then please be happy. I love you, Siha. I know you’ll always love me, but don’t be afraid to love again. One of the many beauties in life is love. The love we shared was one of the most beautiful the galaxy has ever known. The heart is meant to be shared, and yours is one that has so much to share. I was lucky to have spent the time I had with you. You made my days bright, gave me meaning…please find that for yourself. I love you, Lee. My Siha._

Shepard looked at the picture of Thane she kept on her bedside table. Picking it up, tears filled her eyes. She gently touched the glass, and a single tear fell. She smiled as she wiped her eyes, “Okay, Thane.”   
That night was the first night she didn’t cry herself to sleep, didn’t have a nightmare, didn’t feel quite so alone. She dreamed of Thane.

_They had just come back from a mission. Her armor dirty and scuffed, hair left in all different directions from her helmet, and yet he looked like he always did. Beautiful. All she could do was stare._  
He must have felt her eyes on him because he turned around and laughed, “Shepard. Is there something wrong with my clothes?” Realizing she was caught, her face flushed bright red.   
“Oh, uhm…” she stuttered over her words, “I just… No, it’s just… I have to go.”   
Obviously flustered she breezed past him and muttered to herself, “really, Shepard? God, big bad Commander Shepard can’t even keep her cool around one of her own crew. Granted he’s probably the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen…”   
“Oh, really?”   
She hadn’t even heard him catch up and pass her. “Damn assassin.” She muttered under her breath.   
“You think I’m the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen? That’s quite a compliment coming from a woman as beautiful as yourself, Siha.”   
Siha?   
“I’m sorry, my translator must have glitched. What did you just call me?” “  
Siha. I’ll tell you what it means, but could we perhaps talk privately?” He sent a small smile her way, and she felt her knees (among other things) go weak… Damn sexy assassin.   
He followed her up to her cabin. She did her best to ignore her heart beating almost out of her chest. Trying her best to keep her cool, she set her helmet on the desk, took off her gauntlets and set them next to her helmet, and was working on getting out of her boots when he spoke again.   
“What’s your hamster’s name?” He asked peering in the small glass cage on the shelf behind her.   
“Alexander. As in The Great.” She said working her last boot off her foot. She wiggled her toes, then started working on the rest of her armor, “can I get you anything, Thane? I mean…feel free to make yourself at home, but don’t hesitate to ask.” 

__  
He looked over as she worked her chest plate off. She had already worked her way out of the bottom half, and once her chest plate was off she stood in only a pair of spandex shorts, tall socks, and a tank top. There was nothing particularly provocative about her clothing, but that didn’t stop his body’s physical response. He quickly sat down to prevent any awkwardness that could be caused by a bulge in his pants.  
“Do you want some water?” She asked as she pulled a pair of N7 sweats over her shorts. She stayed in the tank top.   
“Would you happen to have anything stronger?” He asked. Suddenly his throat felt dry.   
She laughed. It was a very pleasing sound. “I probably have some wine if that’s okay.” She made her way towards a shelf. On the shelf were a couple bottles of alcohol, and a few glasses.   
“That would be fine. Thank you.” He said as she poured one glass, then another, and set the first in front of him. He maybe grabbed it a little too quickly, and maybe drank the red wine a little too fervently, but damn…he needed a drink. 

_She had to take a sip of wine to keep herself from giggling at him. Downstairs he had seemed so confident…now he seemed just as nervous as she was. “So, Thane…”_  
“Yes, Siha.” He set his glass down, his nerves seemingly calmed.   
“You were going to tell me exactly what siha means.” She took a longer sip this time. Eyes on him, as he seemed to settle into her couch and make himself comfortable.   
Reaching for his glass, he took another drink before he spoke, “ah, yes. Siha. Warrior-angel of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector.” He was quiet for a moment, “I know we haven’t talked at length, but I have come to care for you. Quite a lot.” Shepard almost choked on the wine she was drinking. “I’m sorry. Have I said something to offend you?” His big eyes seemed to grow even bigger with concern.   
“Oh no. Not at all. Quite the opposite really. I was just surprised you felt the same; I- I care about you too, Thane.” She set her glass down. Scooting over to take his hand, she smiled. 

_Thane couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She cared for him as he cared for her. Without thinking, he grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her. For a moment she stiffened, then she seemed to melt into him. He felt her arms snake around his neck, somehow pulling her closer to him. She deepened the kiss, and he nipped her bottom lip with his teeth. The hitch of her breath and soft moan told him he was doing something correctly. He felt her hands move down to work the clasps of his jacket, and he pulled away, “Siha, this might be a little fast…don’t you think?” She blinked at him. Were they moving too fast?_  
After making up her mind, she put her hands on either side of his face, “I want you, Thane. Not just for tonight, but as long as you’ll have me. So if you want to wait…”   
He silenced her with a tender kiss, picked her up, and set her on the bed. He stood there…not knowing what to do. He was lost in his thoughts when he felt her grab the waistband of his pants, “Siha, what are you doing?”   
She looked up at him with a seductive look in her eye, “hopefully you. Now c’mere.” She had unfastened his pants, but didn’t try to take them off. Instead she only rubbed her hands over his thighs, his ass, and the ever-growing bulge in his pants. She purred her approval. A low alto sound in the back of her throat.   
“Siha,” he groaned, “you’re not helping.” His hands gently stroking the top of her head. Eyes closed.   
She purred again, “wasn’t trying to.” She moved from his pants back to his jacket, pulling him down by the lapels until he straddled her. She looked him in the eye. Her eyes were so beautiful. A vivid blue, so bright. He got so lost in her gaze he didn’t even notice she had undone all the clasps and slid his jacket off. Then she reached up and kissed the sensitive skin on his neck. Tongue and teeth making their way from one side to the other. It drove him wild, and he couldn’t pretend anymore. He wanted this woman; he hadn’t wanted anyone so much since his late wife was laid to rest. Mimicking her actions, he dipped his lips down to her neck. Tongue and teeth making their way from one side to the other. It apparently drove her wild too. He slipped one arm around her waist, and repositioned her on the bed so her head was on the pillows.   
He didn’t know when it happened, but she had wiggled out of her tank top and the bra she wore underneath. He looked around and didn’t see a bra, leading him to believe she hadn’t worn one. That drove him almost to the edge. He leaned down as if to kiss her, but captured the nipple of one heavy breast in this mouth. His free hand found the other one, and after some time he felt her hands pulling his undershirt off. He stopped what he was doing long enough for her to help his shirt off, and before returning to what he was doing, he slipped her sweatpants off.   
“These damn things,” he growled at her spandex shorts. He grabbed them with both hands and pulled them down her legs. “Oh…Siha,” he purred. She was wearing the most worthless pair of panties he’d ever seen, “do you have any idea how easily these could rip off? If I pull in exactly the right place, these are history.” He bent his head down to her hipbone, nipping a little bit. Then he snatched the flimsy strap of her panties in his mouth and tugged.   
She sat up on her elbows, “Thane, don’t you dare! These cost me more credits than I’m willing to admit!” She scolded.   
“Then I’ll buy you a new pair.” And with that he slipped a finger under either strap, and pulled. Once he had managed to ruin her panties, he threw them off the bed and ran a hand up her thigh just behind his mouth, kissing all the way up from her knee to her hip. He sat up and looked down at her. She was breathing heavy, her face was flushed, and her pupils dilated. “What do you want, Siha?” She ran her hands down his chest to the waistband of his pants again. This time, she did pull them down past his knees. And once he sprung free her breath caught in her throat again. 

__  
“Wow…” She breathed. She ran a finger along the underside of his shaft, and this time his breath caught in his throat. A low growl sounded in his chest. The sound made every part of her buzz in anticipation. She grabbed his hips and pulled him back down to her. “I think this has drug on long enough. Don’t you?”  
“Oh, Siha. I do.” He purred, burying his head in her neck, softly kissing her shoulder.   
Slowly, his hand made its way up her thigh and in between her legs. He slid his fused fingers inside her, “are you ready?” He kissed right below her bellybutton. She shivered and her muscles tightened around his fingers. He purred in appreciation.   
“I’ve been ready.” She breathed. Arching her back, thrusting her hips up to him.   
“Well then, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.” He said as he bent down to kiss her neck again, he slid both arms under her shoulders and cradled her head in his palms. He slowly entered her. The feeling was indescribable. The further he slid in, the wider her eyes got. Her pupils dilated. She lightly breathed his name. He slid out, and this time slammed back into her. She moaned loudly, and he continued. Thrusting as hard as he could, he felt her muscles get tighter and tighter around him. She hooked both legs around his hips, giving her more leverage to meet him for every mind shattering thrust.   
“Oh god, Thane.” She said between ragged breaths, “oh my god.”   
He didn’t say anything. The only sound that escaped from his lips was a low growl of satisfaction. He nipped at her shoulder, and when she tipped her head back, he kissed her exposed neck. This time when he exited, instead of slamming back into her, he flipped her on her stomach. He pulled her hips up just enough so he could enter her, and pushed them to the bed again. Grabbing the headboard, he continued his earlier work. He removed one hand from the headboard and slid it underneath her. He rubbed her clit lightly, sending her over the edge. After reaching her climax, he continued, pushing her towards another.   
He pulled her up to her hands and knees, thrusting harder every time. She screamed his name, sending him over the edge. He held on long enough to flip her on her back again…he wanted to see her face when they climaxed together. She looked up at him, her face flushed, and he couldn’t resist kissing her. She hooked her legs around him again, kissing him hard, and as he thrust into her a final time, she couldn’t stop herself from the loud moan that escaped her lips. After he was spent, he laid on top of her for a brief moment. He pulled out and rolled onto his back next to her. The only thing said was a breathless, “Siha…” before pulling her close to him as they settled into a peaceful sleep. 

Shepard woke feeling more rested than she had in a while. Thane’s jacket was still draped over her like a blanket, and she snuggled into it before sitting up and getting ready for the day. She pulled on a clean pair of sweatpants, clean socks, and one of Thane’s white undershirts he had kept in her cabin. Going to the bathroom, she found her hairbrush in the top drawer of her vanity, and went to brushing her hair. Once brushed, she put it in a French braid, and looked in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes looked a little bit better. _Chalk that up to getting a good night’s sleep._ But her eyes still looked tired, so he put on a little bit of mascara and called it good. She put her shoes on, and made her way down to the crew deck for breakfast.   
Jack, Tali, Liara, and Kaiden were sitting at one table in the mess hall; Garrus was just sitting down at the opposite one. After getting a cup of coffee and a piece of toast, she sat next to Garrus.   
“Shepard. How did you sleep?”   
“I actually slept really well. Thank you, Garrus.” She took a long drink of her coffee and continued, “I really needed a friend last night.”   
“I’m glad to hear that.” He said smiling, “I meant it when I said I will be here to help however I can. I care about you.” He put a hand over hers and squeezed lightly, “I’m just glad you seem to be feeling a little better.”   
“I am,” she smiled up at him.

~

It wasn’t until then he realized she wasn’t wearing his jacket. She must be feeling better than she thinks if she’s not wearing his jacket. “Shepard. What do you say we go do something? You’re due for some fresh air, and maybe it’ll help.” She warily smiled up at him. _That doesn’t look good…_   
Despite him being worried about her response, she answered, “That sounds fun, Garrus. What did you have in mind?”   
“I don’t know, I mean…I uh…” He stammered. Shepard giggled. Garrus found himself lost in amazement. It was like she was a completely different woman. He didn’t know what had caused the change, and he honestly didn’t care…he was just glad she was a little bit closer to being herself.   
“Garrus?” She knocked on his head, “anyone in there?”   
“Yeah, sorry. I was just…you look good, Shepard.” He rubbed the back of his neck. It was a nervous habit.   
She smiled a little bigger, “thank you, Garrus. So what d’ya say? Lunch at the Presidium?”   
“Are you sure? I mean…it sounds good to me…I just…I didn’t know if you wanted to because…” He was sure he looked like such an ass right now.   
“Because of Thane? I mean, it might be hard, but I can’t avoid the Citadel forever. Besides, this might sound crazy, but Thane and I had a good talk last night after you left. Okay, now that the words are out of my mouth it sounds really crazy…” She ran a hand over her braid, “I don’t know. I guess I just realized he wouldn’t want me to keep going like I was. That love is a beautiful thing to share, and if I was capable of sharing love with him, I should continue to share it with someone else. He loved me, and would want me to be happy. I’ll never forget him, and I’ll always love him, but this war? There’s a good chance I won’t make it alive…I shouldn’t spend it being alone, being sad. You know?”   
“I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” He smiled down at her, “go get ready for lunch. I’ll meet you at the elevator.”   
She smiled back up at him, finished her coffee, and made her way back to her cabin. He couldn’t help himself from watching her walk away. She had braided her hair so it didn’t fall limp around her face. The circles under her eyes weren’t quite so dark. He was glad she was feeling better, and hoped he could continue helping her make progress.

~

Once up to her cabin she ran to her closet. She felt like she was going on a first date again. _Oh god…was this a date?!_ No. It was just lunch. Just two friends having lunch. Just Garrus driving her to the Presidium to have lunch. Just going with Garrus to one of the most romantic spots on the Citadel…   
“Oh my god! It is a date!” She didn’t have anything she could wear on a date! Even if it was just lunch! What if he wanted to do something else?! What if…   
“Don’t go there, Shepard.” She scolded herself, “it’s just lunch. Calm the hell down.” She shook her head and turned back to her closet. Sweatpants, hoodies, Thane’s t-shirts, that horrible dress Kasumi made her wear, dress blues…   
“Shit.” She muttered, grabbing the last acceptable thing in her closet. It was a pale yellow sundress with a bias cut skirt. She’d had it since she was in her twenties, and had only worn it a handful of times…it would have to do. She stripped down, and slipped it over her head. It fit better than she had expected, granted she had lost a lot of weight since Thane died. Shaking the thought from her head, she went back to the bathroom. She stared at her reflection. The French braid was okay, but she took it out, re-brushed her hair, and put it in a loose braid to one side. Turning her attention to her make-up, she gently rubbed off the little bit of mascara she had put on earlier and put on a thin line of liquid eyeliner on her top lid, then replaced the mascara she had rubbed off. Despite her eyes looking a little better, the rest of her face needed a little a color, so she put a light pink colored blush on the apples of her cheeks.   
She had to admit…she looked pretty damn good, but a little too girly for her taste. So she pulled on a pair of grey civilian “combat style” boots, grabbed the leather jacket Jack had given her for Christmas, and was out the door. _I hope this is okay with you, Thane. I’m finally starting to feel better._

_ I love you. Siha, I only want you to be happy. I love you. I will continue to wait for you across the sea. Be well. _

~ 

He didn’t see her step out of the Normandy. It wasn’t until he heard the docking bay go completely silent that he turned to see what was wrong.   
Nothing was wrong.   
At all.   
In fact, the opposite was true.   
She looked absolutely beautiful. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her wear a dress…or anything close to one for that matter, but he found himself wishing she did more often. The pale yellow was a beautiful compliment to her fair skin; he chuckled when he saw she was wearing a leather jacket similar to Jack’s and civilian “combat style” boots. Her hair was in a loose braid that fell elegantly on her left shoulder, and some of the shorter layers framed her face in a way that added just enough added sexiness to make him jealous of all the approving stares men were sending her way…and a few women. _Huh._   
When she finally reached him, he offered his arm to her; she took it with a smile. “Wow, Shepard.”   
“What? This old thing? I’ve had it for years.” She laughed up at him.   
When they reached the space car he’d rented he opened the door for her, and helped her in, “What a gentleman.” She teased. He gave her a wink and a smile and made his way to his side of the car. They made their way to the Presidium, and once the car was parked, he made his way to her side and got her door once again.   
“I haven’t gotten to tell you yet but,” He rubbed his neck with his free hand, “Well…you uhm…you look beaummfmmm.”   
She laughed out loud, “What was that?”   
If turians could blush, he would have been, but instead he tried again, “You, uh, you look beau…” He cleared his throat, “You look beautiful, Shepard.” He raised his hand to rub his neck again.   
She caught it before he could reach his neck, held it in her own, and used it as leverage to get on her tiptoes and kiss his scarred mandible. “Thank you, Garrus.” She smiled up at him. “So, you promised me lunch. Where are we going?”   
“Wherever you would like. Today is about you giving some much needed attention and time out of the ship.”   
“Well I don’t care as long as I can get a glass of wine. You used to be C-Sec, you should know this place like the back of your hand.” She elbowed him.   
“Okay. I know just the spot.” He grabbed her hand, “Let’s go.”

~ 

Garrus had brought her to a secluded and intimate little bistro. They both ordered wine, and laughed over their meals. Time seemed to fly by, and before they knew it, the sun was setting.   
“Do you wanna go watch the sunset?” He asked as he paid the bill.   
“Sure, why not.” She smiled as she took his arm and they made their way to the commons. They found a bench away from most of the foot traffic and sat. After a moment she rest her head on his shoulder. He put his arm across the back of the bench so she could scoot closer to him, which she did. “It’s beautiful.” She sighed after some time.   
“It really is.” He laid his head against hers. Once again her coconut shampoo settled on his senses in a way he found extremely pleasing. He purred in contentment. “I’m really glad you asked me to do this. I’ve enjoyed myself.” She said as she looked up at him and smiled.   
“Me too.” He said looking down at her. The sunlight reflected on her skin in a way he found breathtaking. He put his hand on one side of her face and brought his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes and sighed, “Shepard. I don’t know what condition your heart is in right now. And I honestly don’t know if I can make it better, but dammit I want to try. Thane was an incredibly lucky man being loved by you, and if I could be even half as lucky I would die twice as happy.” He nuzzled her forehead before continuing, “You are an incredibly beautiful woman, smart, snarky, kind, thoughtful, sassy…I could go on and on. Point is…it’s like you said, the number of days we have left is uncertain…especially with this war.” Seeing a tear running down her cheek, he caught it with his thumb and wiped it away, “It’s entirely up to you but…I’d like to spend whatever time we may have left with you, trying to make you even a fraction as happy as Thane did. If it’s okay with you…I’d like to spend whatever time we may have left loving you, Shep-,” she silenced him with a finger on his lips.   
“Lee.”   
He let out a single breathy laugh, “Okay. If it’s okay with you…I’d like to spend whatever time we may have left loving you…Lee.”   
She didn’t answer for what seemed like an eternity to him. It was probably only a few seconds, but had just bared his heart and soul to this woman. And just when he thought hope was lost, she gently pulled his face to hers and planted a tender kiss on his lips. “Yes.”  
 _That’s good._

Part 2/? 

Garrus woke up. Shepard was still sleeping. He usually woke up before her, using the time to prepare himself for the day’s mission, go get her coffee so it was ready when she woke up, or calibrate something. However, this morning he just watched her sleep. The gentle rise and fall of her bare chest under the blanket, the way her hair fell across the pillow, her hand still holding his from the night before when she had fallen asleep like that. He felt her grip tighten; he looked at her face and saw her peering at him with one sleepy eye.   
He smiled down at her, “Good morning.”   
She scowled sleepily, “mmmph…coffee.”   
He laughed, “I’ll go get some. Just stay here.” He kissed her forehead, and left her cabin in search of coffee. He made his way down to the crew deck. As expected no one was awake yet. Before, when Thane was still on the ship, Garrus would have been able to sit with him while he drank his tea. They would have talked about their days as assassins. Thane on Illium, Garrus on Omega…both bringing justice to the “wicked” and “unjust.” Garrus silently laughed at the thought of their first meeting on Illium. 

__Shepard, Garrus, and Kasumi had made their way to the top of Dantius Towers. They weren’t here for Nassana; they were here for Thane…wherever he was. Nassana was ranting about something…or being paranoid…or both. Garrus wasn’t really paying attention to her. He was looking out for Thane Krios. Krios was a highly skilled assassin, if they weren’t ready for him, and he didn’t take kindly to their presence…well… Garrus swore he only looked away for a second to check his visor. Next thing he knew, Krios had not only taken out the remaining guards, but Nassana as well. If Shepard wasn’t in what Garrus liked to call ‘beast mode,’ he was certain she would have been as awestruck as Kasumi. Seriously, she was swimming in her panties. Shepard attempted to say something to the assassin, but he asked that she wait while he “prayed for the wicked.” Garrus probably wasn’t as hypersensitive as Krios, but even he heard Shepard’s breath hitch and saw her cheeks flush a pastel shade of pink when he talked. Human women had some thing with voices apparently. Joker had been telling him about it. It was weird. Shepard talked to Krios, explaining what the mission was and that she valued his help. He told her he was dying. Garrus couldn’t help but think this mission was perfect for someone who hadn’t planned on living long past it, so they had lucked out. Shepard and the assassin shook hands, and Shepard started back to the Normandy. Garrus fell in stride with Thane, who was the first to speak, “Archangel…” Thane kept looking straight ahead. Garrus looked at him in disbelief. Number one: the arrogant SOB hadn’t even looked at him. Number two: Garrus didn’t think his being Archangel was common knowledge.  
Garrus cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. But these days it’s just Garrus.” Garrus held out his hand and Krios shook it. Garrus cleared his throat again, “Garrus Vakarian.”   
“Thane Krios. It’s an honor to meet you, Garrus.”   
“Likewise.” Garrus looked straight ahead as they made their way to the Normandy. Having two assassins on the same ship should be interesting, Garrus thought, as they walked through the docking bay.   
Garrus and Thane became good friends. They had breakfast together in the morning (partly because no one else was awake), compared snipers and mods, and even shared a game or two of Skyllian Five. Thane was much better than he let on, he had a great poker face, and Garrus suspected he might have hustled Donnelly down in engineering for a pretty embarrassing sum of credits. Garrus had to hand it to him…Thane was probably the last person to expect it from.

Garrus made his way back to Shepard’s cabin with her coffee…and the pot. He knew it would probably take a cup or two before she was willing to speak to anyone…even him.  He didn’t mind…it was actually pretty cute. She was cute when she pouted. When he opened the door, he found her exactly where he had left her…sprawled across the bed. Except now the blanket was tousled, bunched up under her breasts, one bare leg sticking out, one of her arms draped across her face…the other out to one side. He smiled, and tried to ignore the blood that was starting to leave his head and travel south.  
Just as he set the cup down, he saw one peer out from the arm across her face. Seeing the cup of coffee, and the pot of coffee, she sat up right away and took a long drink, “Mmmmm…coffee.” She smiled over her mug, eyes closed. He smiled to himself and lay on his side of the bed. He crossed his arms behind his head, crossed his ankles and then closed his eyes. He loved his mornings like this. Just her and him…and her coffee. Garrus finally felt like something had gone right for him. _This is good._

~ 

After her first cup of coffee she looked over at Garrus. He looked like he was sleeping, but she knew better. She poked the side of his head. No response. She did it again.   
One ice blue eye opened and looked at her, “Yes?”   
“Thanks for the coffee.” She smiled at him, and poured herself another cup. She held her mug with both hands, as she smelled the coffee, eyes closed, knees pulled up to her chest…these were the mornings she loved. Just her and him…and her coffee of course.   
“Of course.” He smiled at her, “I know how grumpy you are without it, and no one wants to see that.” He teased as she gave him a sideways stink eye. He winked at her, and closed his eyes again. She finished her coffee and set her mug down.   
She looked at him. He was so different than Thane. They both had multi-harmonic voices, but where Thane’s was rough and sexy, Garrus’ was smooth and luxurious. If she had to compare them to food, Thane’s was like a pie…a sexy berry filling, with a crumbly crust; Garrus’ was like a cheesecake…rich, and it melted on your tongue. Both equally satisfying, both equally hot, both equally arousing. Obviously their looks were different. They were a completely different species from one another, but where Garrus’ face was scarred, Thane’s was not, and where Garrus had colony markings, Thane had no physical representation of his family line. Thane had big black eyes, with the slightest hint of green irises. Garrus had smaller ice blue eyes, but they could look right through you. Thane wore leather and had a rebellious flair to his dress. Garrus wore typical turian clothes made of fabric (when he wasn’t in armor), but they highlighted is tight physique. Thane’s anatomy was very similar to human anatomy. Garrus’ was completely alien to her. But she did know things worked…differently.   
She didn’t realize Garrus was looking back at her; she had been so lost in studying his features. So when he cleared his throat to get her attention, she jumped. She didn’t have any way of hiding the bright red spreading across her face. _Dammit._

~ 

Garrus chuckled at the sight of seeing her flustered. Commander Lee Shepard was flustered. He took an inappropriate amount of pleasure in knowing it was his doing. She had just been staring at him, and it was starting to get weird.   
He put his hand on her back, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”  
“Yes you did.” She pouted.   
“Okay, maybe a little bit.” He laughed and pulled her down to him so she was in his arms. “What do you want to do today?” He asked, planting a kiss on the top of her head.   
“I’ve got duty logs, and mission reports, and an insane amount of paper work to do.” She said running her hand up and down the sensitive parts of his waist. Even through his shirt, he could feel the warmth of her coffee mug lingered on her fingertips. _Dammit Shepard, sometimes you make it hard to be a gentleman._ As if she could read his thoughts, she giggled and kissed his chest. This sent shivers all through him, and once again, all blood flow was now headed south. _Oh crap, did I say that out loud?_   
She snuggled closer to him and kissed his neck, “I could probably put it off for a couple hours, though.” _Dammit, you make it hard. Being a gentleman that is_. He scowled at his thoughts again; he couldn’t even stop being awkward in his own head when she was around. He really wasn’t in any place to reply to her, she kept kissing his neck, the only thing he could do was purr with his lowest sub-vocals. She had him, as the human saying went, hook, line, and sinker. She smiled against his neck. She was up to something.   
“What are you doing, Shepard?”   
She laughed and kissed his neck again, “Come with me.” She made her way off the bed and grabbed his hand. She was naked from the waist up…the only thing she had on were a pair of white cotton briefs, which didn’t help at all, and every time she moved her breasts bounced, begging for his attention. Once he was off the bed and standing, she turned around, his hand still in hers, and led him to the other side of her cabin. To the shower. He felt the heat in the pit of his stomach burn even hotter, even more blood made its way south, and just when he thought he would pass out from lack of blood to his brain, his…uh… “Little general” stood at attention. “So, uh,” he coughed nervously, “what did you have in mind, Commander?” She had let go of his hand and was messing with the built in shower radio, once she was satisfied with the music she turned to the shower controls. “Shepard?” He asked nervously, still unable to take his eyes off her. She said nothing and turned on the water. All she wore now was a mischievous, seductive smirk, and a pair of, now completely see through, white cotton panties. She hooked one finger and gave a “come here” motion, and- as if he were hypnotized- he stepped into the large shower. He wasn’t far enough in to be hit by the spray of water. He had stopped because she was walking towards him…soaking wet and naked from the waist up.   
Garrus opened his mouth to say something, but she shushed him with a finger on his lips. Then she moved her hands to the waistband of her panties. As she slid them down, she went with them. Now on her knees, she moved her hands up to the waistband of his pants. He helped her as she shimmied them down to his ankles. Once they were down, he stepped out of them and she threw them to the far corner of the shower. He watched her as she looked up at him with that same damn smile. Then, as if this wasn’t torture enough, she ran her fingers over the sensitive skin between his aching erection and both his legs. He closed his eyes and groaned, and before he knew it, her mouth was around him. He looked down, and sure enough, there was Commander Shepard, on her knees, eyes closed, with her mouth around his cock. _Is THIS what Joker was talking about?! No wonder human men go nuts over this._ She ran her tongue on the underside of his shaft, from base to tip, and just as his vision was about to go white, she stopped and stood up. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into the spray from the showerhead.   
_Good thing I don’t have my visor on…that’s not really waterproof._ He silently told himself to shut up. _Joker and visors are not what you should be focused on right now. Look at the beautiful naked woman in front of you, dipshit._   
And he did.   
And she was beautiful.   
Water streamed down her body in delicate beads and rivers. He couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed her around her waist and kissed her hard on the mouth. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He broke away and nipped at her shoulders and neck. He was going to love this woman like she’d never been loved before. _Sorry, Krios_. 

~ 

Garrus picked her up and pinned her up in the corner of the shower, one arm around her waist. She wrapped her legs around him to support her weight as he continued leaving love bites on her shoulders. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, “Are you sure this is what you want?” She nodded, grabbed his face, and kissed him. Next thing she knew, one finger was inside her, another was massaging her clit, and the last rested on her ass acting as leverage for him to reach further inside. She moaned against his mouth and he growled in return. Deepening the kiss, he slid his finger out and focused only on her most sensitive area. The intensity of it all caused her to tip her head back, exposing her neck, and moan loudly. Garrus used the opportunity to kiss her neck, and moved his finger against her even faster. She moved her hands from around his neck to her breasts. She kneaded and massaged herself, occasionally pinching her nipples. Garrus watched, seemingly mesmerized by what she was doing.   
“Oh god, Garrus.” She moaned. He stopped massaging her down there and moved north, batting away one of her hands, replacing it with his free one. Then he nudged the other out of the way with his head and teased her nipple with his tongue. She was breathing heavily now, saying his name, and other unintelligible things, between breaths. She reached down and grabbed him, stroking up and down his shaft. He growled against her breast, and she hummed in response.

~ 

He stopped and looked up at her. Her skin was flushed and her pupils dilated. She breathed heavily, his name ever present on her lips. He put his free hand on the side of her face and moved it to the back of her neck. “Are you sure?” He asked as he kissed her temple and down to her cheek. She nodded a response, but he wanted to hear her say she was sure, that she was ready, that she wanted him. “Tell me,” he said against her soft skin.   
“Yes, Garrus. I want you. Please,” she breathed, closing her eyes and leaning her face against his.   
He didn’t say anything more as he put his free arm around her waist and entered her. So much of him just wanted to fuck her hard and fast, get all the pent up sexual tension out of the way. But the other part of him wanted to take it slow. Wanted to love her. Wanted to make love to her. He buried his face into her neck as he thrust up into her, pulling her down to meet him. She put her arms against either wall by her head, and ground her hips into him every time he pulled her down to him. As her muscles tightened around him, his senses became hyperaware of everything. Her heartbeat accelerating as they made love, his heartbeat accelerating to match hers. He tuned out the sound of the music and the water, so he could listen to her moan his name, each time louder than the last as she reached her peak. Her muscles loosened and tightened as she went from one climax to the start of another. He moved her from the suspended position he’d had her in, and gently laid her on the floor of the shower, and continued. His head buried in her neck, he brought a hand up to her breast and played with it, mimicking her earlier actions. She unwrapped on leg from around him, causing her muscles to tighten around him even more. He growled her name, and could feel his climax quickly approaching. As his vision started to go white, and his brain started to feel like mush, he thrust harder and faster. Soon she was screaming his name, and as he finished he breathed hers into her ear. He didn’t know how long they stayed under the spray of water like that. Long enough to retract back into himself and his plates return to their original position. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at her. He traced his hand down one side of her face and she smiled up at him, leaning into his touch.   
Leaning down to kiss her, he kept one hand on her face, he whispered against her lips before kissing her. She whispered back, kissing him again, and smiled. _That’s good._

~ 

After their escapade in the shower, Shepard actually took a shower. Garrus had a little too much fun with the bubbles as he helped Shepard wash herself. Once she finished showering, and got all the bubbles out of his fringe, she wrapped a towel around herself and sat on the bed so she could lotion her arms and legs.   
“Human cleaning routines are strange.” He said stepping out of the shower, a towel around his waist. He made is way to the bed and sat down next to her. He watched her squirt lotion onto her leg, and rub it in. He looked absolutely perplexed.   
She laughed up at him, “Something I can help you with, Mr. Vakarian?” She put lotion on one arm and rubbed it in with her free hand.   
“I’m just watching. Is this also part of your cleaning routine?” He picked up the bottle and cautiously sniffed the contents. He must not have thought it was horrible. Making a grunt of approval, he set it down next to him. He sat watching her. “Can I help?”   
She looked up at him, “You want to rub lotion all over my naked body?”   
He was at a loss. “Well…I didn’t mean…uhm…”   
“So you don’t want to rub lotion all over my naked body?” She winked at him.   
He looked at her, realization making its way across his face, “Commander Shepard, are you not satisfied from our romp in the shower?”   
She threw a leg over his lap and motioned for him to put some on her leg, he did, and she continued rubbing it in as she said, “Oh no, I am.” She said wiggling her toes, “I just thought a romp in the sheets might be fun too.”   
He pulled her onto his lap, “Well, if you think you can put off your paper work for a little while longer,” he said kissing her neck. She didn’t answer with words. She just took her towel off, and pushed him down onto the bed. 

~ 

Garrus liked lotion…a lot. Somehow it made her already soft skin even softer. It made her smell nice…like lavender. It drove him wild, and when her coconut scented hair fell across his face…wow. He lay on the bed, his arms behind his head, his legs crossed at his ankles, and a beautiful woman sleeping next to him. He looked down at her, and smiling, he turned on his side to face her. She was lying on her side facing him, her eyes closed, a small smile lingered on her lips. He was so in love with this woman, but was so afraid to tell her. Their shared whispers had only been a simple exchange of mutual happiness, but he had meant so much more than a simple, “I’m so happy when I’m with you,” his was meant to be a profession of love…but he wimped out at the last second. He knew he would tell her eventually. For now he was just happy to be lying next to her, running his fingers through her hair as the faint scent of coconut tickled his nose, seeing her smile as she slept, and waiting to tell her how he truly felt until he knew she was ready to hear it. She looked so peaceful as she slept. It was almost like there was no war, no reapers, and no chance they might die at the end of it all. This put him at peace, and soon he slept soundly, holding the one thing he held most dear…his friend, his lover, his Commander Shepard. 

~ 

__She opens her eyes to big black-green ones looking at her. “Thane,” she smiles at him. His hand touches the side of her face, and she leans into it. “I’ve missed you.”  
“And I you, Siha.” He smiles down at her, and gently kisses her cheeks, “The time here has been good for me. My mind is completely at ease. My soul is no longer weary, but my heart still aches without you. I have watched the sea for many days. It is very peaceful, I think you would like it.” He smiles at her again, “But not yet, Siha. You still have much to do. You still have people to take care of.”   
“But I want to stay with you.” She pleads, “I want to be with you.” Tears roll down her face as she reaches up to touch his face.   
Tears form in his eyes as he wipes the tears from her face, “In time, my love.” He starts to disappear, “I love you, Siha.” His voice fades into the distance as his image completely disappears. She closes her eyes…clinging to his warmth as it leaves her body. Cherishing the sound of his voice as the echoing stops.   
She closes her eyes, knowing she is alone.   
She opens her eyes.   
Ice blue eyes look back at her. “Garrus.” She smiles. “You’re here.”   
He cradles her in his arms, and laughs, “Where else would I be?” He seems to wrap his entire body around her, “You are the most important person in the galaxy to me. There’s no one I love more than you.”   
She turns to face him, “What did you say?” Tears form in her eyes as he shares his heart with her.   
“I love you, Shepard. Not because you need me to, or because I need to. I love you because every part of my soul resonates with yours. I love you because we’ve been to hell and back together, and you’re the only one I would march into hell for. I love you because it doesn’t matter how trivial or dire the situation, you’ve always been there. Not just for me…for everyone. I love you because you make life brighter than any star ever could. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. I can’t even begin to imagine how empty the universe would be without you…how empty my life would be without you. I promise to spend my life loving you with my entire being. From today until the day I die, my heart is yours.” He puts a hand on her face, and kisses her. “I promised a friend I would take care of you, protect you, and I will.” He kisses her again, “I will always take care of and protect you.” Again. This time his image also starts to fade. “I will forever take care of and protect you.” Again. He continues to fade. “I will always love you.” Again. His image is gone. All that’s left is his voice as it whispers, “I will forever love you.”   
“Garrus! Garrus, come back! Dammit, don’t you leave me too! Please!”   
She cries, “Please. I can’t lose you too…” 

~ 

Garrus woke with a start to Shepard screaming his name. She sounded like she was in pain, or incredibly sad. He noticed she was crying. Her eyes closed tight as she screamed, “Garrus! Please! No! Come back! I can’t lose you too!” Her fists clutched the sheets between them. He was mad at himself for making her cry like this…even though he hadn’t actually done anything. Her crying turned into weeping, and because he couldn’t watch this anymore he put his arms around her, pulling her close to him. Garrus didn’t try to wake her. He was afraid of frightening her, so he drew her in even closer, trying to wrap as much of himself around her as possible. He smoothed hair, and purred with the mellow baritone harmonies of his sub-vocals he knew she loved. It helped some, but she was still visibly distraught. Not knowing what else to do, he started humming an old turian lullaby his mother would sing when he was very young.   
As he continued to hum, she slowly calmed down until her weeping had stopped completely. He continued for a little while longer, just to make sure she had moved on from whatever he had done to upset her so much. Once he was convinced she was peacefully asleep once again, he kissed the top of her head. Her coconut shampoo tickled his nose, but settled pleasantly on his senses. He pushed her chestnut brown hair behind her ear, kissing her temple as he did, and with his mouth right by her ear he whispered his confession, “I love you, Shepard.” 

Part 3/? 

“Shepard. I’m sure going to Thessia was difficult for Liara, but did you find what we were looking for?” Hackett stood with his arms behind his back, at attention.   
“Yes, sir, however, things did not go as planned. Kai Leng made an appearance. We lost the data. I’m sorry, sir.” Shepard was visibly upset. She was sick of Cerberus beating them to the punch. Just once, she’d like to have the jump on them. Just once, she’d like to ruin their plans.   
“Well that definitely throws a wrench in things, but we’ll keep plowing through these blueprints and finish the Crucible. But, what are you going to do now, Shepard?”   
“I’m going to get that damn data back. That’s what I’m going to do.” She straightened into a defiant posture and gave the Admiral a sharp nod.   
“Good. That’s the Commander Shepard I know. Take care of your crew, and keep me posted. Hackett out.”   
The grainy image faded away and Shepard stepped into the war room to address the crew.

~ 

Garrus had never seen her so upset. It broke his heart to see her so frustrated. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms, carry her to her cabin, and hold her until this damn war was over. The fate of the entire galaxy rested on her shoulders…he didn’t even want to imagine what that felt like. She deserved a night of freedom from all this. Reapers be damned, he was going to show her just how special she was to him. She deserved at least that. He hadn’t even listened to what Traynor had said about locating Cerberus, but Shepard had her game face on, and he knew what that meant. They were about to kick some serious ass. _Bring it on_. 

** After the mission at the Illusive Man’s base **

He sat on the bed not knowing what to do or say to make her feel better. Everything that happened at the Illusive Man’s base had been really intense, and he didn’t know how Shepard was handling it…   
Right now, she was sitting on the floor of the shower, under the spray of water, muttering to herself…and wearing Thane’s jacket.  
Crying.   
Garrus knew it wasn’t good, but he wanted to give her some time before he said anything to her. He couldn’t say it didn’t hurt seeing her wear Thane’s jacket again, but he also knew it was what she needed right now. He knew confronting Kai Leng would be overwhelming for her, but he hadn’t expected her to completely shut down. Garrus felt a tightening in his throat as her listened to her cry. Soon he felt tears sting his eyes. He couldn’t just sit there any longer, so he got up and stood outside the shower. “Shepard…”   
She didn’t say anything. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, and as she looked up towards him she gave him a sad smile, “I’m sorry, Garrus.” A sob escaped her throat, “I just…” She rested her head on her knees as she started crying again. He didn’t even think, he just sat down behind her and pulled her into his lap.   
“Hey. It’s okay. I understand that it still hurts, and it probably will for a long time. But I promised Thane I would take care of you, and that’s what I intend to do. So whatever you need, just ask.” He nuzzled his chin against the top of her head, “You’re the most important person in the galaxy to me. There’s no one I lo-,” he cleared his throat, “there’s no one I care about more than you.”   
She leaned into his warmth, “Thane really liked you and always said you were one of his best friends.” She smiled, “One night he told me that if I were to fall in love with anyone else after he died, he hoped it would be you.” She looked up at Garrus and touched his scarred mandible, “He was an amazing man, and as long as I live, I’ll always love him. But eventually the heart moves on. Yes, I still love Thane, but I’ve also learned to make room in my heart for someone else. Garrus, I don’t believe we only have one soul mate in our lives. Soul mates are people we could never imagine life without, who make our hearts happy, and who make life worth living. I found a soul mate in Thane, but I’ve also found a soul mate in you.”   
Tears formed in his eyes, “Shepard…” His voice broke on the last syllable of the name he loved so much, and he held her tighter.   
They stayed like that for some time before she stretched up to kiss him gently, “I think I’m okay now. Should we dry off and have a glass of wine before bed?”   
A single laugh escaped his lips, “I’d love to.” 

~ 

Once she was dried off and in some dry clothes, Shepard put Thane’s jacket in her closet, and turned to Garrus who was grabbing the wine. They had found a nice wine that was amino-friendly for both of them. They’d been pretty surprised (and very happy), to find it on the Citadel.   
As Shepard made her way to the couch, she grabbed two glasses. She set the glasses on the table, and Garrus poured a generous glass for both of them. He sat next to her, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. She grabbed both of their glasses, and handed Garrus’ to him. She looked down into her glass; the purple-red liquid was the only thing that looked back. She took a drink to drown the emotions making their way to the surface. Garrus must have noticed, as he took her glass from her and set it down. He then set his down, and put his arms around her. Neither one said anything. They didn’t need to; they both knew what was being said in that embrace. She leaned into him, and he tightened his arms around her. They stayed like that for a while…Shepard didn’t know exactly how long, but it was perfect.   
Garrus was the first to speak. “Shepard. I wish I had words to make what happened today not hurt so much. I know it wasn’t easy for you to confront Kai Leng after what happened to Thane,” his voice broke on Thane’s name, “but I want to be here for you. You shouldn’t have to face things like this alone.” His voice broke again, and Shepard could hear him getting choked up, “I just—,” he stopped.   
She pushed away and looked up at him, “Garrus.” She looked him in the eyes as tears started clouding her vision. “You have been my best friend for as long as I’ve known you. I never thought our relationship would be anything more, but it is, and I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is. You’ve always been there for me, today included. I’ll never be alone as long as you’re here, Garrus. And as long as I live, you’ll never be alone either.” She kissed the scarred side of his face, “I know you’ve got my six, and you better know I’ve always got yours.” She smiled at him, hoping her words made him feel better. They must have.   
He kissed her forehead and cleared his throat, “Thank you, Shepard. Should we finish our wine?” He handed her glass to her, and then grabbed his own. She smiled and raised her glass to her lips.

~ 

They talked and drank, and drank and talked, and when Garrus realized they had gone through two large bottles of wine he proposed calling it a night. In her half drunken state, Shepard agreed and stumbled to the bed and flopped across it on her back. The wine contained much more alcohol than typical levo-friendly wine, and Shepard, who could usually put away quite a bit of booze, was feeling the effects. Garrus had a much easier time with the wine, but he was also much bigger than her.   
He laughed at his Commander. She looked absolutely ridiculous while she fumbled with the zipper of her sweater, cursing “the damn thing to hell.” He stood in front of her and asked if she needed help.   
“No. I- dammit- I got it, Garrrrrruss.” She finally got the zipper down and began to wiggle her way out of the sweater, “Shit. Why is clothing so hard? How do I sweater?” She let out a frustrated sigh and gave up. She held her arms straight up and grunted. “Help.”   
Garrus tried to stifle his laughter. He wasn’t very successful. “Okay. C’mon, sit up.” He grabbed both of her hands and tried to pull her up. She wasn’t helping at all, “Shepard, you’re going to have to work with me here.”   
This time when he tried to pull her up, she sat up so he could work her sweater off. Once she was out of her sweater, she tried wiggling out of her sweatpants. And once again she gave up and grunted at Garrus.   
“Only if you say please.”   
She gave him a stink eye.   
“Please.”   
He laughed openly this time as he grabbed her pant legs and pulled her sweatpants off. Now she lay there in just a t-shirt. She rolled onto the bed, and Garrus covered her up. As he walked to his side of the bed, he took his shirt off and lay down next to her. She snuggled up to him and kissed his chest. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. “Go to sleep, Shepard.”   
“Absolutely,” her protest was interrupted with a yawn, “not.” And just as quickly as she protested, she fell asleep. 

** A couple nights later **

“It’s our last night together before the big battle…how about we go on a date? We could go to the Citadel, get some dinner, get some more drinks…”   
She put her hand to her chin, “Hmmm…alright, Vakarian.” She looked down at the sweatpants she was wearing, “I suppose that means I should change.” She went to her closet and frowned. “I have nothing to wear.”   
“Anything you wear will be beautiful, Shepard.” Garrus said putting a nice shirt on.  
“I’m not looking for beautiful…I’m looking for something else.” She looked deeper in her closet. “Ah ha!” She pulled a garment bag out of her closet. Garrus looked at her skeptically. She turned, “I’m going to get ready in the bathroom. Excuse me.” She turned and headed towards the bathroom. Garrus’ eyes followed her as he laughed.   
After a while, he heard Shepard call for him, “Are you ready, Garrus?”   
“Yeah, just a…whoa.” He turned and looked at her.   
She was leaning against the wall, wearing a dress that hugged every delicious curve of her body. It was black as night, with a low V neck that showed just enough cleavage to be sexy, long sleeves, and a hemline that stopped mid-thigh showing off her toned legs. She smiled at him and turned around. The back of the dress was cut all the way down to her lower back but as, what Garrus called, an attempt at modesty…lace covered what would have been bare skin. On her feet, she wore a sensible black heel. Her long hair, which was usually kept in either a French or side braid, fell down her back in soft curls and framed her face. She had painted her lips red as wine, and as darkened her eye makeup to a sultry bronze which enhanced her bright blue eyes. Eyes so much like his.   
He stood and walked to her, “I…uhm…” He cleared his throat, his voice suddenly feeling dry.   
She laughed and grabbed his hand, “Thank you.” She kissed his scarred mandible, and putting her hand in his they made their way to the elevator for their late night date. He took her to dinner, bought her a new sniper rifle mod, and took her for a ride to the top of the Presidium.   
He got out of the car and then helped her out. “Before we go get drinks, there’s something we need to sort out.”   
“You’re not going to challenge me to another shooting contest are you?” She eyed him incredulously.   
He laughed, “No. I don’t think you could handle the embarrassment twice. Do you?” She glared at him. “Actually I brought you here to ask you something.”   
“Okay…what’s up?”   
He sat, motioning for her to sit next to him. Once she had sat, he continued, “Shepard, I know most of your heart will always belong to Thane. I know that you’ll always love him, but I can’t go another moment without…well…” He shifted, unsure of what to say next, but before she could interrupt, he continued, “I don’t know if we’ll survive this war, but if these are my final days I don’t want to spend them with anyone but you. Turian courtship is a little different from that of humans. When we find someone we want to spend our lives with, we call them our bond mate. There’s usually a ceremony similar to a human wedding where one bond mate paints their colony markings on the other.” He cleared his throat before continuing, “I asked Joker how these things usually work, but a lot of it seemed unnecessary…either way…” He turned to her, holding a small box, “I love you, Lee Shepard…will you share what’s left of your heart with me?” He opened the box that held the small white gold band, with diamonds and sapphires. “I know it’s nothing special, but I thought you’d prefer something simple.” He cleared his throat, “Apparently human customs involve diamonds, but I liked the blue stones better, so I got you one with both. If we’re still alive after tomorrow, and you still want to be with me, we can go get something else. Whatever you want.”   
“It’s perfect, Garrus.” She said with tears in her eyes.   
“I hope so. This doesn’t have to be a proposal of marriage or anything like that, unless you want it to be. My intention was more so just to let you know how I feel. If we make it out of this war alive, I would love to spend the rest of my life with you as your bond mate or husband or whatever you want to call it, but for now I’m content with this just being a way to tell you how much I love you, and giving you something to remember that.” She said nothing, just looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I love you, Shepard. I wish I had said it before tonight. I wish I would have told you from the very start, but…I don’t know I guess I was scared it would be too soon. Scared you wouldn’t feel the same. Scared of what would happen. You’ve been the most important woman in my life since I met you. I love you.”   
Tears freely rolled down her cheeks, “I…Garrus…I love you too.”   
He smiled and slipped the ring on her finger. “No matter what happens. I will always love you, Shepard.” He stood and helped her up. Once she was standing, he kissed her softly and promised her the best life he could give her. 

~ 

He sat at the bar on the Citadel. Shepard never came back from the final battle. By some miracle, Anderson did…and informed everyone how Shepard had sacrificed herself to save the universe. Things were beginning to return to normal, but normalcy would never return to Garrus’ life. The one thing that mattered most to him was gone. What he had come to think of as normal would never be there again.   
“Vakarian.” Anderson addressed Garrus as he sat down. “I haven’t had much of a chance to talk to you…you’re a hard man to find.”   
“My apologies, Anderson. I haven’t been myself since…well…” Garrus swirled his drink around and sighed.   
“I’m sorry, Garrus. I wish I had words and answers and-”   
Garrus slammed his drink on the bar, “Everyone wishes they had the answers. Everyone wishes they had the words. No one does, Anderson! No one does! SHE’S DE- she’s gone.” Garrus looked back into his drink, “I’m sorry, Anderson. I just...I miss her so much.”   
“I know, son. We all do, you most of all I’m sure. Anyway, I came by to give you this. Shepard gave me this to give to you...in the event of...” Anderson sighed and handed Garrus a small box, “Take care of yourself, Vakarian.”   
Garrus finished his drink and made his way to his Citadel apartment. The apartment he had intended sharing with Shepard after the battle.   
He never actually thought she wouldn’t make it. He never thought she would…die. Once in the silence of his apartment he sat on the couch and opened the package Anderson had delivered to him. Inside was a datapad with a blinking message notification, and a small envelope. He took the datapad out and opened this message; Shepard’s face illuminated the screen in front of him.   
“Garrus. If you’re listening to this, it means I didn’t make it. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and I am so grateful to have spent the time I have with you. You have made my final days worth living, and loving you has made it all the more beautiful. Garrus, I wish I could be there for you, with you, because I know exactly how much this hurts. After Thane died, I didn’t think I could ever be happy again…but you were there for me, and you made my life so beautiful. I just wish I could be there to return the favor. I’m so sorry, my love. I love you.” She blew a kiss at the camera, and the screen went black.   
Garrus pulled the envelope from the box and opened it. Inside was the chain her dog tags were on, and in addition was the small diamond and sapphire band he had used to “propose” to her. The ring looked so small in his large turian hands…he missed her so much…things would never be normal again. Sighing, he put the dog tags around his neck. In a strange way it made him feel better…like she wasn’t actually gone. _That’s good_. 

~ 

Her eyes opened to big black-green ones looking at her. She smiled, and he smiled back. “Welcome home, Siha.”


End file.
